Last Updated on June 29, 2020 by Shane Corbitt
You find out at work that someone was talking smack about you. It was something you did that made them talk behind your back and word got back to you about it. You confront the person which leads to an argument. The person denies saying anything about you which leaves you in a position of accusing the person of lying.
This situation happens often. It can be at work or in your personal life. Here’s a question to ask yourself, why should you care what other people think about you? Are you happy with yourself and who you’ve become? If so, it doesn’t really matter what others are thinking.
Of course, if you are not happy with yourself, and you are engaging in improper behaviors towards others, this could be the reason for their dismay towards you. In this case, they could be justified in those thoughts. If this is the case, you may want to pay attention to what is being said about you. Use it as a way to help improve yourself.
On the other hand, if you are content with yourself, realize that people are going to talk about you. Those same people are not just talking about you. They tend to be the gossips of the group and will talk about anyone given the opportunity. You can’t take these people seriously, and you certainly shouldn’t take it personally.
What you should take seriously, is when people present constructive criticism. If they are justified in their criticism, you should treat it as a learning experience and a way to improve yourself. If you feel they are not justified by their criticism, they could simply be negative, and you should move on from these people. Try not to confront them unless they are causing you harm in some way. Most of the time, it’s best to ignore what they say. The problem is with them.
Your true friends will accept who you are and not try to change you. It’s why you became friends in the first place. Sometimes, they won’t appreciate certain things you do or say, but if they are good friends, they will talk to you. Keep an open mind and consider what they have to say before reacting. This is not to say they are always correct. But, when they are you should acknowledge it and make changes if need be.
This is one thing I am learning slowly. I had been a people pleaser because I had no friends in my school days and it was tough for me. Now, I realise it’s better to be our true self that gives more inner peace.